Union Cuts Benefits

[LovelyLadyLux]

> Muslim Union cuts benefits for martyrs:
>
> Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day
> strike in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in
> the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to
> produce an agreement.
>
> The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the
> number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would
> be cut by 25% this February -- from 72 to 60. A company spokesman said
> increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings have
> resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
>
> The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of
> Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the
> move was unacceptable to its members and called for strike vote.
> General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are
> literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't
> ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is like a kick in
> the teeth."
>
> Speaking from his luxury cave somewhere in Pakistan , Al Qaeda
> chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "I sympathize with our
> workers' concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet
> their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of
> modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western
> depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
> It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people
> off. I don't like cutting benefits, but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000
> of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
>
> Spokespersons for the union in the Northeast of England, Ireland
> , Wales , the entire Australian continent, California , and New York
> stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are few
> virgins in their areas anyway.
>
> According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the
> number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of
> Scottish singing star Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what
> a virgin looks like, and have reconsidered the value of their benefit
> packages

[denisegr]

So so funny and refreshingly non pc.

[Jayway]

- - - - - - - -and thank you for this too, LLL.

[BillH]

See I am unbiased, and will laugh at any religion

Nice one LLL..