A light-hearted section of Jokes - Text Games - Only In Egypt Photos and Videos - Brainteasers and General Fun Stuff to while away the spare minutes of your day.

Moderators: Horus, DJKeefy, 4u Network

User avatar
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God
Posts: 10883
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 9:12 pm
Location: Canada
Has thanked: 353 times
Been thanked: 2214 times


Post by LovelyLadyLux » Wed Dec 05, 2018 10:44 pm

Best Smart Ass Answers


It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?' , the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied .


A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'


A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead...'


The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'


A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'


1) You can't count your hair.

2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.

3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out.

Put your tongue back in your mouth, sure you can still breathe, you fool.

Ten (10) Things I know about you.

1) You are reading this.

2) You are human.

3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.

4) You just attempted to do it. You are an idiot!

6) You are laughing at yourself,

7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.

8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.

9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.

10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.

You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot fool category.
"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."

I love it............................ ......
If you are a senior
you will understand this one;
if you deal with seniors,
this should help you understand them
a little better,
and if you are not a senior yet........
God willing, someday you will be.....
The 2.99 Special
We went to breakfast at a restaurant
where the 'seniors' special' was
two eggs, bacon, hash browns
and toast for $2.99.
'Sounds good,' my wife said.
'But I don't want the eggs..'

'Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49
because you're ordering a la carte,'
the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for
not taking the eggs?'
my wife asked incredulously.

'YES!' stated the waitress..
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said..

'How do you want your eggs?'
the waitress asked.

'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home
and baked a cake.

WE'VE been around
the block more than once!

  • Similar Topics
    Last post
  • For today
    by LovelyLadyLux » Sun Jan 13, 2013 7:47 pm » in Just 4 Fun
    0 Replies
    Last post by LovelyLadyLux
    Sun Jan 13, 2013 7:47 pm
  • Today
    by LovelyLadyLux » Tue May 29, 2018 5:28 pm » in Just 4 Fun
    0 Replies
    Last post by LovelyLadyLux
    Tue May 29, 2018 5:28 pm
  • Today
    by LovelyLadyLux » Sat May 12, 2018 1:57 am » in General Discussions and Rants
    7 Replies
    Last post by LovelyLadyLux
    Sun May 13, 2018 12:24 am
  • For today
    by LovelyLadyLux » Wed Dec 09, 2015 2:41 am » in Just 4 Fun
    1 Replies
    Last post by Horus
    Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:40 am
  • What are you doing today?
    by Horus » Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:06 pm » in General Discussions and Rants
    60 Replies
    Last post by Horus
    Tue Dec 22, 2015 11:41 am