What's in a dream?

[Horus]

What’s in a dream and do they tell us something about ourselves? Is it the brain trying to make sense of the days events? Are they suppressed thoughts churning their way back into reality, could they even be some outside influence trying to tell us something? My reason for asking is that this morning I awoke after a very short (maybe only a minute in dream time) dream and it has replayed in my mind all day. It was not a nightmare, it was a dream and a sequence of events that seemed so real that I am compelled to describe it to you.

I was standing at the counter of a shop (somewhere I don’t know where) doing what I cannot recall, but as I turned around my wife was standing there as real as real could be. She was smiling and I could see every feature of her face and hair in crystal clarity, she was even dressed in a way that was recognisable to me, wearing a short suede jacket, a skirt and blouse and flat shoes and carrying her large handbag dangling on the strap similar to a shopping bag. She stood there looking at me in the same way that when someone has said they will meet you in say half an hour, but instead have finished their own shopping early and decided to surprised you by being in the same place where they knew they could find you. I need to emphasise that this seemed like 100% reality, even her voice when she said “I’m here!” as I was turning around, sounding like a pleased child would do.

I was not in any way frightened or concerned, but something seemed to stop me asking the obvious question, so I just nonchalantly said “Oh your back” and we gave each other a big hug which again was as real as it could be, everything was so real. We started to walk out of the shop together through some wide automatic doors and I suddenly seemed to get a reality check and I turned to her and said “I am dreaming aren’t I”? She turned towards me and smiled and in a most gentle voice she said “yes you are”. I felt a great feeling of sadness as I realised this was not reality, but all I could say to prolong the moment was “well shall we go for a little stroll outside” at that point the image of us both and wherever we were standing just faded away in seconds and I woke up. Not with a start or that heart thumping of a bad dream, just a great sadness as I realised it was not real.

I don’t have any religious convictions and do not believe in a spirit world, I often think of my dear wife, but I had not had any particular thoughts in my mind on the previous day or evening that would have triggered such a vivid dream, but this one has run through my mind all day, very strange.

[Grandad]

Horus, I believe that there is a lot that goes on in the sub conscious mind.

I have two kinds of dream. The first kind is obviously triggered by some event of the previous day. Last evening (Saturday) we decided that this morning (Sunday) we would go to the garden centre to find a plant to fill a gap on the rear patio. I have mentioned that I am driving some short distances but will finally decide about driving after an eye test.
In my dream we went to the garden centre but I drove very slowly and carefully. I think that says that in my sub conscious I have concerns about driving. Probably so.

My other dream type involves situations where I am under pressure to achieve some objective. I may be walking to some place but the effort becomes increased so that my legs are leaden and this can become more like a nightmare from which I awaken with pumping heart and a mild sweat.

Another type of sub conscious action relates to memory. On Friday our daughter took us for a run to the coast and then to a country pub for lunch. It was warm so no jacket required; I just took my small camera, walking stick, and blue badge which I put in the glove box. When she returned us home I had a nagging thought that I had forgotten something. It wasn't until next morning that I remembered that I left my blue badge in the glove box. But I had that nagging in my head that I had forgotten something...

[Ruby Slippers]

I have had vivid dreams and nightmares since I was a very small child. For years I thought they were omens but a couple of years ago I dreamed about a friend who died back in 1998. I still miss her terribly but when I woke up, I had a strong sense of being happy! My explanation for this ( to myself) was that I'd been privileged to spend time with her, even if it was only in a dream! So that is how I see dreams about family and friends who are no longer with us now. An opportunity to be together again, even if only in dream time.

[Horus]

Both interesting replies, I told my daughter about it and she of course thinks it's something real and has meaning. She misses her mum a lot and she told me she would love something like that to happen to her, although as her husband told her "you would not be satisfied with just a few minutes, you would want it to happen all the time" which is probably true
I am of the opinion that the subconcious tries to put everyday facts into some sort of order and that is our dream, as with Grandad and his careful driving and by the way that feeling of getting nowhere and everything being heavy going? It is again your subconcious that is stopping you from moving or walking in your sleep to keep you safe. The weird thing though is that I cannot think of anything that happened or I was thinking about that day that would have triggered such a vivid dream, but vivid it certainly was

[Grandad]

The weird thing though is that I cannot think of anything that happened or I was thinking about that day that would have triggered such a vivid dream, but vivid it certainly was

Horus, perhaps we don't always need 'triggers' or at least not ones that we are aware of. Or maybe the subconscious can create its own trigger.

I am not a believer in such things as the supernatural, spiritualism et al. I do however believe that our own subconscious mind really exists and is part of our being. In your case Horus I am inclined to believe that it was your subconscious that reminded you of your late wife. The location was arbitrary and could have been any place that you had both been to in the past.

So good that dreams are not always scary and can be happy events as both you and RS have recounted.

[Horus]

I am not so sure if such a dream is a good or bad thing, at the actual time and for a brief moment it is wonderful and you think that the reality of that person dying was probably a bad dream and nothing bad had really happened, as if in your dream you were waking from a bad dream. Then as you become aware you were dreaming, the truth plunges you down to earth with an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach and for a while you are in a state of shock, its hard to describe, but I reckon the downside outweighs the initial elation.

[LovelyLadyLux]

Very interesting incident or dream H. Was it actually a visit? Was it an old hidden memory or happening that resurfaced? Was it coincidence or did you actually will it? Or?

I think dreams are many things. I think they're a continuation of something that happened during your day, a week ago, a month ago and/or at some point in your life.

I think they're also random needs and wants that your awake conscious self represses but during your sleep cycle these come to the fore as your are not aware and can't think to repress them so they're free to float into your conscious and there for you to enjoy (or not).

I also think dreams are re-living of trauma or something that was an exceptional (happy or bad) experience.

This type of dream is true to me in that I do have PTSD. Normally through my regular day I don't think about some of the yuckier things in life that I've encountered on the job however sometimes, usually if I'm really overtired, I will re-live the traumatic events of an incident. I see everything crystal clear in superb detail and usually experience increased heart rate and can wake up in a real sweat as I'm trying trying trying. The dream does happen as really real. However sometimes when I'm just floating through life doing nothing in particular a dream/nightmare, if you will, can happen and bring an experience back to me.

I think we bury in our psyche events in our life and these can re-appear at any time for no particular reason. I think sometimes the dream IS a total recreation of a specific event because our brain has had the time to code it into our brain that way. Other times a dream can happen as really real but our brain hasn't coded it into memory exactly and so we dream tidbits that also seem real but we don't remember the specifics of where they come from.

Clear as mud eh?

[Horus]

No I follow your logic I think you may have something regarding the traumatic side though.

[LovelyLadyLux]

My logic & explanation re: dreams flowed in that explanational (is there such a word? explanational?) direction because one of the treatments for PTSD goes like this ...... and I'll explain in a second following another explanation first which is how PTSD can happen in the first place ............

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can happen when a person is exposed to on-going traumatic events on the job or because of an accident or natural disaster. A trauma is suffered and this has such a significant impact it affects the person afterwards where often they continue to re-live the event over and over and over with often debilitating effects on their life. PTSD is very individualized and can happen as the result of a relatively small insignificant event or a huge event. It is often associated with military persons who have been in combat but it could also happen as the result of being nipped at by a dog.

To continue - something happens and the brain codes it into memory. This memory appears willy nilly over and over on its own just emerging when the person least expects it to happen sometimes during the day when something triggers it and/or at night when the person is sleeping.

It is not fully understood HOW the brain codes one memory one way and another memory another way but PTSD can be extremely debilitating.

One of the most effective treatments is for the patient with a therapist to re-live the event and re-feel the full effects of the experience - HOWEVER - when doing this the person will hold clackers or something else that taps another significant nerve area of the body. This actually forces the brain to re-code the event/memory into ANOTHER area of the brain that the person has more control over. This is actually call RAPID EYE MOVEMENT and mimics REM sleep which helps desensitize the patient to the traumatic event. It is thought this moves the event to a different area of the brain that is not as sensitive or subject to triggering the trauma.

I can fully attest it WORKS Much more complex and complicated process than I've described here but it has to do with how we code memories into our brain, how our brain stores & retrieves them and how we re-experience these - as in VIVID dreams

Highly successful with war vetrans and those who have experienced on-going or episodic trauma or one significant life event and has to do with how our brains code our memories

[Horus]

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