Chinese Advert

A light-hearted section of Jokes - Text Games - Only In Egypt Photos and Videos - Brainteasers and General Fun Stuff to while away the spare minutes of your day.

Moderators: DJKeefy, 4u Network

User avatar
Horus
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God
Posts: 12363
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:15 am
Location: UK
Has thanked: 1661 times
Been thanked: 2228 times
Gender:
United Kingdom

Chinese Advert

Post by Horus »

We have all struggled at times with the 'Chinglish' instructions on Chinese goods, but this hotel brochure takes some beating. :lol: :lol:

Advertising brochure from a Chinese hotel, Well worth a read.

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel.
Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.

Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above All:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.


Image

User avatar
Grandad
Egyptian Pharaoh
Egyptian Pharaoh
Posts: 6912
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:15 am
Location: South East UK
Has thanked: 803 times
Been thanked: 2288 times
Gender:
United Kingdom

Re: Chinese Advert

Post by Grandad »

Hilarious but utterly believable. :lol: :lol: :lol:
:gg:

User avatar
LovelyLadyLux
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God
Posts: 11588
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 9:12 pm
Location: Canada
Has thanked: 427 times
Been thanked: 2728 times
Canada

Re: Chinese Advert

Post by LovelyLadyLux »

More than cute (and probably true).

User avatar
Kiya
Egyptian Pharaoh
Egyptian Pharaoh
Posts: 4286
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:15 am
Location: Peterhead Scotland
Has thanked: 1587 times
Been thanked: 538 times
Gender:
United Kingdom

Re: Chinese Advert

Post by Kiya »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post
  • Chinese
    by LovelyLadyLux » Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:08 am » in Just 4 Fun
    2 Replies
    1411 Views
    Last post by LovelyLadyLux
    Wed Jan 15, 2020 5:56 pm
  • Chinese New Year
    by Grandad » Sat Jan 28, 2017 4:07 pm » in General Discussions and Rants
    7 Replies
    2658 Views
    Last post by Horus
    Sun Jan 29, 2017 12:58 am
  • Chinese Sex Talk
    by LovelyLadyLux » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:24 pm » in Just 4 Fun
    0 Replies
    429 Views
    Last post by LovelyLadyLux
    Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:24 pm
  • Russian & Chinese veto
    by Horus » Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:44 pm » in Politics and Religion
    0 Replies
    599 Views
    Last post by Horus
    Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:44 pm
  • Egyptians and Chinese products
    by DJKeefy » Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:22 am » in Know Egypt
    7 Replies
    1136 Views
    Last post by LovelyLadyLux
    Wed Feb 29, 2012 1:49 am