They are here there and everywhere

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LovelyLadyLux
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They are here there and everywhere

Post by LovelyLadyLux »

TOP SEVEN IDIOTS OF THE YEAR!

1. *AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence

2 *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. *THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. *DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'

6. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

7. *THE GRAND FINALE! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

*Now remember, these are all true stories and these people vote and most have children!*


Mad Dilys
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Re: They are here there and everywhere

Post by Mad Dilys »

:a50: :a8: :a50:
Maaaarvelous!
Smile! It confuses people
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Grandad
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Re: They are here there and everywhere

Post by Grandad »

Hillarious :a8: :a8: :a8:
:gg:
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Re: They are here there and everywhere

Post by FABlux »

Does rather underscore what I have always said about a lot of Americans! :lol:
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Re: They are here there and everywhere

Post by Grandad »

I received a letter from the Doctors surgery asking me to make an appointment for a blood test.

I telephoned and said " Would you post the form to me and I will have the test at the hospital because it is easier fo me to get to the hospital because I have mobility problems getting to the surgery"

"Yes that's fine" replied the receptionist "You can collect the form from the surgery" :xx
:gg:
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Re: They are here there and everywhere

Post by FABlux »

Unbelievable Grandad. She obvioulsy wasn't listening :roll:

Barry had to have 2 blood tests 1 before his hospital check up next week & 1 a normal annual check Rang the nurse Tuesday, she came to the house Wednesday & the results arrived in the post Friday. Total cost 8.1€ & 70% of that comes back :D
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Re: They are here there and everywhere

Post by Grandad »

FABlux wrote:Unbelievable Grandad. She obvioulsy wasn't listening :roll
Probably holding the phone with one hand and texting a friend with the other. :xx
:gg:
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