Philosophers of This Century

[LovelyLadyLux]

Philosophers of this Century


~ John Glenn...

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind -

every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.

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~David Letterman...

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the

population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon

landing was faked.

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~ Howard Hughes...

I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire.

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~ Old Italian proverb...

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.

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~ Jean Kerr...

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the

strength of the lifeboats.

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Zsa Zsa Gabor...

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither

would take out the garbage.

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Jeff Foxworthy...

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your

car doesn't.

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Prince Philip...

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or

a new wife.

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~ Emo Philips...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at

kickboxing.

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~ Harrison Ford...

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.

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~ Spike Milligan...

The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree.

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~ Robin Hall...

Lawyers believe a person is innocent until proven broke.

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~ Jean Rostand...

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.

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~ Arnold Schwarzenegger...

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million

dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.

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~ WH Auden...

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are

here for, I have no idea.

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Jonathan Katz...

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the

furniture naked.

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~ Johnny Carson...

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators

would be dead.

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~ Warren Tantum... (School photo album).

I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.

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~ Steve Martin...

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a

man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.

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~ Jimmy Durante...

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

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~ George Roberts...

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

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~ Jonathan Winters...

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.