A story of Cairo

Post by **Horus** » Fri May 29, 2009 11:17 am

.............. a well shaft that was concealed in the floor of their prison. As he began to plummet backwards into the void, Hepzi and Welshstudent each made a desperate grab at the flailing Spanks pants. A cry of despair
AAAAAARRGG ............ came from the well as BBlux plunged to his doom.
then.........GGRRAAAAAA as the elastic pants, now stretched to breaking point shot him skywards again like a bungee jumper.......................

Post by **BBLUX** » Fri May 29, 2009 3:39 pm

...out of the well shaft and right up through the trap door. BBlux then grabbed hold of a stout pillar and clung on for his life.
Now by this time the tension had built up in the elastic pants and Hepzi and Welshstudent found themselves being pulled into the air...the others all clung on and the whole crew found themselves rising back up through the trap door........

Post by **PRchick** » Fri May 29, 2009 9:21 pm

:lol::lol:

Post by **Horus** » Fri May 29, 2009 10:12 pm

……….But their upward momentum was rapidly slowing down and they were in great danger of not clearing the trap door! It was then that Horus decided to sacrifice himself and cried “Remember the Battle of Hastings” as he prepared to let go of the pants in order to lighten the load. “Stop!” cried PR, “I will make the ultimate sacrifice” then with a blood curdling ‘Rebel Yell’ she cried “Remember the Alamo” and promptly kicked off the Mexican tourist who was also trying to escape by hanging onto the Spandex pants. Relieved of this additional burden the pants regained their original shape and shot the gang through the trap door to safety……..

Post by **Glyphdoctor** » Sat May 30, 2009 7:44 am

...but they kept going, up up and all the way to the top of the Great Pyramid...the group was plopped down like a human pyramidion but they didn't have much time to catch their breath because a police officer came bounding up the side to arrest them for climbing the pyramids. So they soon found themselves in the back of one of those blue trucks with the bars on the windows headed to the central jail in Bab al-Khalq for processing. Those who were married to Egyptians whipped out their phones and placed calls to their husbands to prepare to bring them food to pass to them through the jail window but the others were going to be left to fend for themselves off of jail cockroaches unless...

Post by **HEPZIBAH** » Sat May 30, 2009 10:13 am

..something drastic was done soon.

squashed n the corner of the truck sat Mango Man, appearing a somewhat deflated super hero. Surely this was just such an occasion when he should rise the challenge. Could it really be his powers were no more? It was then the thought struck him! Pleading with PRChick to reach into his tights and get out his blackberry, a few contortions later he was talking to Guava Guy who was.......

Post by **Horus** » Sat May 30, 2009 1:01 pm

………..able to contact ‘Banana Boy’ a well known gigolo who plied his trade on the Corniche in Luxor. He owed his life to Keefy, alias ‘Mango Man’ who had saved him from an angry mob of American women who were beating the crap out of him after making the fatal mistake of lifting the hem of his new Galabeya off the ground with his teeth as he boarded the ferry. In return for saving his miserable life he had given ‘Mango Man’ something of great value, a lucky scarab!
“Ask Keefy if he still has the lucky scarab I gave to him?”
Guava Guy repeated the question to Keefy who said that he did. “Tell him to use it to make a wish” said ‘Banana Boy’ before heading off to Banana Island.
Turning to Glyph, Keefy still in his disguise as ‘Mango Man’ said, “I cannot free my hands to get the scarab, you will have to reach into my pocket and get it for me”
Glyph rather reluctantly put her hand into the pocket of the tights and struggled to find the scarab, her face red with embarrassment she turned to Keefy and said “You know, I do feel a big soft thing” “Well lift it up” cried Keefy “There is a scarab underneath it”. With much relief she removed her hand and the gang all cheered as she was clutching…………….

Post by **PRchick** » Sun May 31, 2009 6:05 am

...an alabaster scarab stuck to a squished sausage roll. While Ebikatsu handed Glyph a bottle of antibacterial gel, Hepzi contorted Mango Man's hand so he could hold the stone bug and he yelled "I WISH...

Post by **Glyphdoctor** » Sun May 31, 2009 7:38 am

TO...LET GO OF MY SAUSAGE ROLL!" As Mango Man had started to make his wish, BB had realized his wife was with him and that he wasn't going to be having anyone deliver food to him in jail, so he had attempted to grab the sausage roll from Mango Man in an act of desperate self preservation. But in doing so, he had doomed all his companions. In ordering BB to let go of his sausage roll, Mango Man inadvertently got his "wish": the sausage roll dropped out of Mango's hand...Realizing no wishes were left, the others decided to take the matter in their own hands by....

Post by **PRchick** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:06 am

...pooling all their money together and ordering take out from KFC. They got half original and half extra crispy with the pickled vegetables, and white bread rolls because there is apparently no such thing as a decent southern biscuit in Egypt, with corn on the cob. When their order arrived...

Post by **Ebikatsu** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 9:42 am

so did a big police truck filled yet again with shurta.
Heading the squadron was Zahi Hawass, his hat firmly secured to his head with some silver duck tape under the chin.
Zahi stormed up to the table and grabbed hold of Mango man's waistband and twanged it against Mango's ketchup stained belly.

'Arrest zeez seefz' cried Zahi to the half asleep shurta. 'zey haf ztolen an Ejibshun treshur, it belongez to zi beebol of Ejibt!'

Mango man swivelled carefully in his seat trying to maneouvre Glyphs precious fragment and the scarab into his day glow orange cod piece without being seen.

Glyph reached down and adjusted the bulge to make it seem less noticable. Ebikatsu removed her antibacterial gel again and handed it to Glyph.

'Zerch ze wooman in the white coat' cried Zahi. All eyes turned to Glyph. Glyph safe in the knowledge that the fragment and the scarab was safely nestling in Mango's cod piece, stood up and said 'frisk me you buggers but you wont find anything on me, we left the fragment back where it belongs! in the pyramid at Giza!'..............the shurta moved in unison forward towards Glyph who was now standing in the frisk position in the middle of Mac Donalds................

Post by **PRchick** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:03 pm

...while PRchick shook her head and pinched herself, wondering how they had gotten to a McDonald's and why Glyph was speaking British...curiouser and curiouser...meanwhile Glyph turned suddenly and took a taekwando position. With a blood curling yell, she leaped at the amazed shurta...

Post by **Goddess** » Tue Jun 02, 2009 7:58 pm

....... because Goddess had stuck her in the ribs and was barging past her in her desperation to get to the counter after PR noticed we were in fact in Maccy D's and not the dreaded KFC with no corn on the cob and no bloody chicken gravy.

Goddess screeched at the man behind the counter give me a Big .....

Post by **PRchick** » Wed Jun 03, 2009 6:41 am

...MAC with double meat and double cheese, biggie fries, two fruit pies, and the biggest chocolate shake you've got!" she cried. "NOOOOOOOOOO" screamed the rest of the E4U crew. "That's over 3000 calories of fat and sugar." Clutching her feast, Goddess fought off the rest of her friends to down the belly buster meal. Then, in horror, the rest of them watched as Goddess, on a carb and sugar high, turned blue, then green, uttered some eery, gutteral sounds, shook violently, and suddenly morphed into...

Post by **Ebikatsu** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:57 am

LATEX WOOOOMANWHATEVER

Post by **PRchick** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:44 am

....or so they thought...when the dust cleared, it turned out Glyph had morphed into the object of her professional adoration, Zahi Hawass. She had planned this in advance, knowing that the American president Barack Obama would be in town and she wanted to get in a personal observation on the policies of Ron Paul. Taking the opportunity, she saw the presidental motorcade going by and ...

Post by **Ebikatsu** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:35 pm

hopped on the back of a passing motorbike. 'Follow that car' she shouted in the ear of the startled driver as she manouvered his pillion passenger a goat on to her lap.
'Quick man, don't let it get away'!
The driver started to pick up speed and zig zagged as normal through the traffic in pursuit of the Limo.
Suddenly out of the corner of her eye she noticed a young boy astride a donkey climbing the steps of the overpass ahead at Mohandseen followed by a herd of sheep. Not an unusual sight for Egypt but a worrying one none the less as donkey dropping dropped through the metal grid floor of the bridge onto the visor of the motorcycle driver. Glyph expertly wiped his visor clear but in so doing.............

Post by **Glyphdoctor** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:14 pm

...she realized she had soiled the hand she was going to shake Obama's hand with. She decided it didn't matter though, as he probably was just like President Mubarak and wouldn't allow anyone to see anything more than his hand through the cracked window of his limo as he would be too afraid of getting shot and therefore wouldn't notice the dung before it was too late, so she kneed the back of the motorcycle driver's knee to get him to speed up and as they approached the limo she adjusted the Zahi hat on her head and...

Post by **Horus** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 9:45 pm

........stretched out her hand towards the limo. "Yo there Zahi baby" cried president Obama in a Harlem drawl and leaning out of the window raised his hand in 'high five' towards Glyph. Being an American, president Obama was also in awe of the great Zahi and he had wanted to get his autograph for his new pet dog who he had also wanted to name Zahi, in honour of the great one himself. However he had been forced by the rest of the family to choose the name 'Bo' in tribute to his own grandaddy Bo Diddley instead.

As each of their hands came together in an enormous slap, there was an explosion of donkey poo from between their palms. Thinking that this was a gunshot the driver swerved, throwing Obama out of the open window still clutching Glyph's slippery hand. Meanwhile PR, who hated Obama and had been an avid supporter of John McCain for the presidency, saw her chance, seeing a donkey tethered outside of MacDonalds she leaped onto it's back and ..................

Post by **PRchick** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 6:23 am

...sped towards the leader of the free world, who she did support (although John McCain is a good man), and pulled he and Glyph to safety next to a coffee shop. Obama, who had returned to his Hawaiian/Chicago accent since he had nothing to do with Harlem but was trying to represent foreign views of America ethic groups, was so grateful to PR, he wanted to grant her the Metal of Honor, the highest award an American can receive, but just then Glyph/Zahi...