Monday Blues ? Here's a cure..

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BillH
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Monday Blues ? Here's a cure..

Post by BillH »

Maybe not all of these are P.C. but what else would you expect ;)



A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time...


I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed
him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.


I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I
was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...
I thought to myself, these idiots have lost the plot!!


I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could
check her balance.
Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.



A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was
refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....
'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the
humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'


My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went
to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! To hell with this, I thought,
I can get one cheaper off the web.


Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.


Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield ..
3.1415927 dead


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’
I bought her a set of bathroom scales.


I saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I've got the big C," he said.
"What, cancer?"
"No, dyslexia."


I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.


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Post by LovelyLadyLux »

:):):):)
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Post by Horus »

:lol: :lol: nice ones Bill, I especially like the pie factory one :)
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denisegr
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Post by denisegr »

Is Huddersfield a bit like Wigan, famed for pies?
what do you get if you ask for a kebab in Wigan?


3 meat pies on a stick.
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Post by Horus »

:lol: :lol: @ Denisegr
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Christine
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Post by Christine »

" No im dyslexic" ...............love it :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Post by Jayway »

Thanks BillH - :lol: :lol: :lol: Carnival Day here so its been raining for 24 hours - -
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BillH
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Post by BillH »

denisegr wrote:Is Huddersfield a bit like Wigan, famed for pies?
what do you get if you ask for a kebab in Wigan?


3 meat pies on a stick.
:lol: :lol:
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Post by denisegr »

Christine wrote:" No im dyslexic" ...............love it :lol: :lol: :lol:
Do you manage ok with M & S then ;)
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Post by Christine »

Bugger its the M first!! :lol: :lol: ;)
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Post by jewel »

:lol: oh dear so good they're baaad!!
Lost the plot?! :lol:
"If you understand, things are just as they are, if you do not understand things are just as they are"
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