A short story

Anything that does not fit elsewhere can be discussed here.

Moderators: DJKeefy, 4u Network

Post Reply
User avatar
Horus
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God
Posts: 12363
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:15 am
Location: UK
Has thanked: 1658 times
Been thanked: 2213 times
Gender:
United Kingdom

A short story

Post by Horus »

On several occasions a few of you have made the comment "you should write a book". Well whilst putting loads of stuff back on my PC I came across this short story I had written somewhere in the mists of time. It was intended to be the start of a longer story, but for some reason I never finished it, so rather than it go to waste I thought that I would post it on here. :tk

The Boarding House

Her croaky voice jarred me out of my private reverie as she called out “Unlucky for some” ………“House” I shouted jumping up and nearly knocking my pint of beer off the table, “Nuuuuuuuuuuumber twelve” she continued without pausing for breath.
“Number twelve is not Unlucky for Some” I said rather peeved, “well it is for you sweetie” she cackled back at me all bottle blonde and rouged cheeked, this was Doris our Blackpool landlady.
I suppose I should have known better, bad luck always comes in three’s and my dreams had already been dashed the previous day after opening my eagerly awaited letter from Snooper.com a web based travel site. “Congratulations!” it read “on becoming the latest member of our undercover inspection team” and then after going through all the do’s and don'ts regarding anonymity and keeping detailed reports and expense receipts, it continued with the words “and your first assignment will be” …. Florida? Spain? Brazil? My imagination ran riot as I eagerly read on …… Er, Blackpool, the words leaped back at me from the page, Black…….. Pool, “please not ‘the’ Blackpool” I heard myself saying, but an extensive search of Google Earth could not produce anything exotic with a similar name and post code, I was gutted.

And so I found myself looking at the raddled features of Doris our landlady, fag drooping from her painted lips and ash dropping onto the Formica table that formed the hub of the in house entertainment centre. Two and six……“Was she worth it? ... twenty six” she cackled to the cheers and leers of the other guests. Tomorrow we were promised a whist drive in The Main Bar, which was actually the front parlour of the ‘Bide a Wee’ guesthouse resplendent with a cheap Vinyl covered chipboard self assembly bar in one corner, no doubt retrieved from a B&Q skip somewhere, perhaps god would be merciful and strike me down with Scurvy or even Leprosy so as to avoid me having to participate in the forthcoming event. Just my luck that at only 45 years of age I had to draw the Over 65’s Special Weekend at the ‘Bide a Wee’ guesthouse as my first real assignment, perhaps I was being punished for some earlier transgression in my life and in his anger god would only give me a sore throat rather than the full blown Leprosy I had asked him for.

Bingo or “Housey-Housey” as the other guests like to call it ended at 7-30 p.m. and I was just about to get myself another pint when we were all invited to move our chairs together for a film show. At last I thought to myself, I can sit in the dark drinking my beer and watch a movie, “Albert dearest, can you set up the projector?” she croaked while exhaling clouds of tobacco smoke. At this point her husband Albert proceeded to push a small trolley replete with a chain driven mechanical projector and to park it next to my right ear, so much for sneaking onto the back row. Endless attempts were made to thread the celluloid film onto the reel, each of them resulting in a flap, flap, flapping sound as the film strip struck the empty pick-up reel as it spun endlessly out of control. Albert managed to keep up this particular routine for some ten minutes before a more nimble set of hands, my own, threaded it for him to loud applause from the assembled guests. After receiving a curt nod from Albert, no doubt he felt his position as chief projectionist was being usurped, he switched on the lamp. I bent my head sideways, not only to get a better view of the slanting image, but also to distance myself from the mechanical clatter of the projector, a sound that rose and fell with each adjustment in speed that Albert felt obliged to make. Just when I thought I could stand this no more he started to play around with the focus and the images of Doris on a beach in Torquay circa 1950’s sharpened and faded like a mirage in the dessert.

Why do these people subject us to their holiday snaps and movies? and I wondered which was worse, this or the in-house entertainment. Just as I thought I could take no more and was seriously considering some kind of self harm in order to escape by ambulance, a long hair or possibly a leg of some creature started to flicker across the screen, I was transfixed by this as to my delight it seemed to be lashing Doris as she cavorted near to the edge of the sea, perhaps she was about to be eaten by a large Octopus? now that would be “unlucky for some” I thought to myself. Then to my dismay Albert noisily flipped open a small door at the side of the lens and proceeded to poke about inside with a small brush, this caused the tentacle on the screen to move around all the more. Maybe the Octopus went back into the sea because Doris was now walking towards the camera when suddenly her face began to go brown, then her features melted as a blaze of light burst through her head and seared my eyeballs as the screen turned a brilliant white and the smell of burnt cellulose told me the film show was over for tonight, maybe prayers do get answered.


Image
Mad Dilys
Royal V.I.P
Royal V.I.P
Posts: 2271
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:15 am
Location: Luxor
Has thanked: 3044 times
Been thanked: 676 times
United Kingdom

Re: A short story

Post by Mad Dilys »

At the end of the day when life throws s**t at you, it's usually Good Copy. :lol:
Smile! It confuses people
User avatar
LovelyLadyLux
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God
Posts: 11596
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 9:12 pm
Location: Canada
Has thanked: 417 times
Been thanked: 2714 times
Canada

Re: A short story

Post by LovelyLadyLux »

Sounds like you met my Mum H! Definitely a good description of her :bs: :bs:
User avatar
Jayway
Royal V.I.P
Royal V.I.P
Posts: 1617
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 12:47 am
Location: Portugal
Has thanked: 1234 times
Been thanked: 107 times
Portugal

Re: A short story

Post by Jayway »

:))) :))) :))) :a4: :a4: :a4: MORE please.
User avatar
Kiya
Egyptian Pharaoh
Egyptian Pharaoh
Posts: 4286
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:15 am
Location: Peterhead Scotland
Has thanked: 1575 times
Been thanked: 537 times
Gender:
United Kingdom

Re: A short story

Post by Kiya »

:lol: :lol: Anymore to come :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Horus
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God
Posts: 12363
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:15 am
Location: UK
Has thanked: 1658 times
Been thanked: 2213 times
Gender:
United Kingdom

Re: A short story

Post by Horus »

Sorry, there is no more, it was just the germ of an idea for a short story that never got past the first page.
Image
User avatar
Kiya
Egyptian Pharaoh
Egyptian Pharaoh
Posts: 4286
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:15 am
Location: Peterhead Scotland
Has thanked: 1575 times
Been thanked: 537 times
Gender:
United Kingdom

Re: A short story

Post by Kiya »

Oh well Horus some of these days when your not so busy with computer etc & stuck for something to do you can start your next story :a41:
Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post