Board index » GENERAL » Literary Corner

 


Post new topic Reply to topic
          
Author Message
 Post subject: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2018 10:24 am  |  Posted from: United Kingdom
  

Royal V.I.P
Royal V.I.P

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:15 am
Posts: 1958
Topics: 61
Images: 20
Arcade Highscores: 4
Gender: None specified
Location: Luxor
I came across this today and thought I'd get my Grandson to read it. Bet he won't read it aloud - I know I'm evil. :lol:

The Chaos - Gerard Nolst Trenite (1922)

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.
Exiles, similes, reviles.
Wholly, holly, signal, signing.
Thames, examining, combining
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war, and far.
From "desire": desirable--admirable from "admire."
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.
Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.
Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,
One, anemone. Balmoral.
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,
Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.
Scene, Melpomene, mankind,
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, reading, heathen, heather.
This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.
Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which is said to rime with khaki
Discount, Viscount, load, and broad.
Toward, to forward, to reward.
Right! Your pronunciation's O.K.

____________________________________________
Smile! It confuses people


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2018 7:30 pm  |  Posted from: Canada
  

User avatar
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God

Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 11:12 pm
Posts: 10721
Topics: 1954
Images: 1648
Arcade Highscores: 1
Gender: None specified
Location: Canada
Canada
Cool - got this one cut and pasted to me cause I'm going to get the twins to read this too :)


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2018 9:12 am  |  Posted from: United Kingdom
  

Royal V.I.P
Royal V.I.P

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:15 am
Posts: 1958
Topics: 61
Images: 20
Arcade Highscores: 4
Gender: None specified
Location: Luxor
I had never come across Melpomene. One lives and learns. :lol:

____________________________________________
Smile! It confuses people


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2018 12:36 pm  |  Posted from: United Kingdom
  

User avatar
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:15 am
Posts: 12340
Topics: 671
Images: 2436
Arcade Highscores: 0
Gender: Male
Location: UK
United Kingdom
No wonder that English is the hardest language to learn :o

____________________________________________


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2018 7:07 pm  |  Posted from: United Kingdom
  

Royal V.I.P
Royal V.I.P

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:15 am
Posts: 1958
Topics: 61
Images: 20
Arcade Highscores: 4
Gender: None specified
Location: Luxor
I was looking for the poem on Google again to show my Grandson and the first reference was all of the above - plus

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Is your r correct in higher?
Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.
Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,
Buoyant, minute, but minute.
Say abscission with precision,
Now: position and transition;
Would it tally with my rhyme
If I mentioned paradigm?
Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,
But cease, crease, grease and greasy?
Cornice, nice, valise, revise,
Rabies, but lullabies.
Of such puzzling words as nauseous,
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,
You'll envelop lists, I hope,
In a linen envelope.
Would you like some more? You'll have it!
Affidavit, David, davit.
To abjure, to perjure. Sheik
Does not sound like Czech but ache.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed but vowed.
Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover.
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice,
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, penal, and canal,
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,
Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit
Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",
But it is not hard to tell
Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.
Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor,
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
Has the a of drachm and hammer.
Pussy, hussy and possess,
Desert, but desert, address.
Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.
Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,
Cow, but Cowper, some and home.
"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker",
Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",
Making, it is sad but true,
In bravado, much ado.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.
Arsenic, specific, scenic,
Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.
Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,
Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.
Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
Make the latter rhyme with eagle.
Mind! Meandering but mean,
Valentine and magazine.
And I bet you, dear, a penny,
You say mani-(fold) like many,
Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
Tier (one who ties), but tier.
Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
Rhyme with herring or with stirring?
Prison, bison, treasure trove,
Treason, hover, cover, cove,
Perseverance, severance. Ribald
Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.
Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.
Don't be down, my own, but rough it,
And distinguish buffet, buffet;
Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,
Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.
Say in sounds correct and sterling
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.
Evil, devil, mezzotint,
Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)
Now you need not pay attention
To such sounds as I don't mention,
Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,
Rhyming with the pronoun yours;
Nor are proper names included,
Though I often heard, as you did,
Funny rhymes to unicorn,
Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.
No, my maiden, coy and comely,
I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.
No. Yet Froude compared with proud
Is no better than McLeod.
But mind trivial and vial,
Tripod, menial, denial,
Troll and trolley, realm and ream,
Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.
Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,
But you're not supposed to say
Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.
Had this invalid invalid
Worthless documents? How pallid,
How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
When for Portsmouth I had booked!
Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
Paramour, enamoured, flighty,
Episodes, antipodes,
Acquiesce, and obsequies.
Please don't monkey with the geyser,
Don't peel 'taters with my razor,
Rather say in accents pure:
Nature, stature and mature.
Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,
Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
Wan, sedan and artisan.
The th will surely trouble you
More than r, ch or w.
Say then these phonetic gems:
Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.
Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
There are more but I forget 'em-
Wait! I've got it: Anthony,
Lighten your anxiety.
The archaic word albeit
Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;
With and forthwith, one has voice,
One has not, you make your choice.
Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger;
Then say: singer, ginger, linger.
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,
Hero, heron, query, very,
Parry, tarry fury, bury,
Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,
Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.
Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,
Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners
Holm you know, but noes, canoes,
Puisne, truism, use, to use?
Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual,
Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,
Put, nut, granite, and unite.
Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.
Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific;
Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,
Next omit, which differs from it
Bona fide, alibi
Gyrate, dowry and awry.
Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion,
Rally with ally; yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.
Never guess-it is not safe,
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.
Starry, granary, canary,
Crevice, but device, and eyrie,
Face, but preface, then grimace,
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;
Ear, but earn; and ere and tear
Do not rhyme with here but heir.
Mind the o of off and often
Which may be pronounced as orphan,
With the sound of saw and sauce;
Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.
Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.
Respite, spite, consent, resent.
Liable, but Parliament.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.
A of valour, vapid vapour,
S of news (compare newspaper),
G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
I of antichrist and grist,
Differ like diverse and divers,
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.
Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,
Polish, Polish, poll and poll.
Pronunciation-think of Psyche!-
Is a paling, stout and spiky.
Won't it make you lose your wits
Writing groats and saying "grits"?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,
Islington, and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Don't you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??
Hiccough has the sound of sup...
My advice is: GIVE IT UP!
:a17:

____________________________________________
Smile! It confuses people


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 11:20 am  |  Posted from: United Kingdom
  

Royal V.I.P
Royal V.I.P

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:15 am
Posts: 1958
Topics: 61
Images: 20
Arcade Highscores: 4
Gender: None specified
Location: Luxor
I bought 2 copies of "Have You Eaten Grandma?" Or the life-saving importance of correct punctuation, grammar, and good English by Gyles Brandreth.

One is for my daughter's household and one for myself in the hope that it might improve my use of the English language. If not, I usually find him amusing anyway.

I was surprised that the sub-title has a comma before the "and". Hmmm :tk

____________________________________________
Smile! It confuses people


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 3:46 pm  |  Posted from: United Kingdom
  

User avatar
Egyptian Pharaoh
Egyptian Pharaoh

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:15 am
Posts: 6237
Topics: 409
Images: 2374
Arcade Highscores: 0
Gender: Male
Location: South East UK
United Kingdom
MD, as I am always looking for novel and inexpensive gifts, I checked this book on Amazon. I could not see a comma before the 'and' in the subtitle.
If it is on the book cover I think that would be acceptable. To me, a comma indicates a short pause and before the 'and' it defines that grammar and good English are separate entities. If the comma is not there the inference is that grammar and good English are linked.
I think both are correct.
I do have a habit of writing very long sentences with many commas to help break up the sentence to be understandable. I should probably write shorter sentences. I should remember my early English lessons when I believe we were told that a sentence contains a subject, an object, and a verb. Without those it is a phrase or statement. My long sentences are in fact probably several sentences separated by commas or semi colons.
Another book in the same vein is Eats,Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. I did have a copy which I took with me on a holiday some time ago and gave it to a local girl who was learning English.

I know I get a lot wrong in my writing but I deplore the advent of social media with spell checkers and much abbreviated text. The young can no longer convers face to face in any adult manner. But they seem to manage very well mobile phone to mobile phone. :(

____________________________________________
:gg:


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 5:52 pm  |  Posted from: United Kingdom
  

Royal V.I.P
Royal V.I.P

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:15 am
Posts: 1958
Topics: 61
Images: 20
Arcade Highscores: 4
Gender: None specified
Location: Luxor
The book definitely has a comma before the "and".

I am pretty ignorant about the theory of grammar. I just now what sounds right to me. :oops:
However that may be I find a lot of old books are such a pleasure to read that there is almost a music on the pages. I may not know the theory but I'm not too bad at proof reading and have been invited by a publisher to do more. It's not work, it's pleasure.

In the chapter - Bad Language there is a quote from one of the contributors to The Urban Dictionary.

Male chavs wear clothes and jewellry which come from a market, they have a attitude problem and smoke since the age of 11.
Female chavs wear tight trousers and when they sit down they're thongs show, have fake blonde hair as straight as an ironing board or they have the "croydon face-lift", they lost their virginity at the age of 14, they have a attitude problem and they have really really bad teeth.
Chavs also use stupid words such as "safe" or "mint" or "y'wot?" or "quali'ee" or my favourite "innit" what are they trying to say?, it's like trying to communicate with a dog.
you usually find them in your local bus stop or your local town.


:a40:

____________________________________________
Smile! It confuses people


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 7:14 pm  |  Posted from: Canada
  

User avatar
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God

Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 11:12 pm
Posts: 10721
Topics: 1954
Images: 1648
Arcade Highscores: 1
Gender: None specified
Location: Canada
Canada
I tend to write long and rambling sentences now and seem to love to use the ! (exclamation mark) to make points. We studied grammar daily and once upon a time I was very good but now with social media I seem to have forgotten lots. I was able to spell anything and everything but now I sometimes have to look up the spelling of words that I know I know. Not sure if spell check auto sticking other words in throws me or maybe I have truly just forgotten the spelling.

I find I now try to write as I speak and use " " or CAPS to make a point or emphasize something.


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 11:17 pm  |  Posted from: United Kingdom
  

Royal V.I.P
Royal V.I.P

Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:15 am
Posts: 1958
Topics: 61
Images: 20
Arcade Highscores: 4
Gender: None specified
Location: Luxor
I'm currently obsessed by a crossword game on my mobile. One is given six or seven letters and an empty crossword. Of course they are harder to complete the higher your level I'm currently on level 516 which has taken me just over two weeks …………. what holds my interest is they use a mix of both English and American dictionaries so I have had the following allowed - wow, aah, its, plus lots of words that are really obscure. There is a reference to any word used, if required, at the side of the screen. Very interesting. As usual with these games it is possible to buy help, which I haven't done - but with a few hundred levels under my belt if pushed for time I resorted to Wordmaker, but it makes me feel so guilty. :oops:

____________________________________________
Smile! It confuses people


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: The Chaos
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 12:21 am  |  Posted from: Canada
  

User avatar
Egypt4u God
Egypt4u God

Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 11:12 pm
Posts: 10721
Topics: 1954
Images: 1648
Arcade Highscores: 1
Gender: None specified
Location: Canada
Canada
I like word games and puzzles as I'm usually fairly decent at them. I don't ever play shoot 'em up games. There was on a few years ago that was on E4U that was matching up a cube. Don't remember the name but I found that one kinda interesting.


  Top                        
Reply with quote  
 
Post new topic Reply to topic


Similar Topics

 Similar topics   Author   Replies   Views   Last post 
 


Who is online

Who is online Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Jump to:  

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum