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The Smartest Kid in his Church

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:59 am

by LovelyLadyLux » Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:59 am

The pastor of this Baptist church had called all of the little children
to the front of the church, dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had
them sit around him.
He said Today is Easter and...

0 Replies

317 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:59 am
Getting Old in Flordia

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:44 pm

by LovelyLadyLux » Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:44 pm

Getting old in FLORIDA

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Punta Gorda, doing nothing.

One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'

The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'

The...

0 Replies

242 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:44 pm
STUPID SQUIRREL!

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:24 pm
Replies: 17
by Grandad » Wed Sep 05, 2012 2:32 pm

First post

Wanted to share this with you and as I thought it was hilarious at the time, this seemed the best forum :lol:

Looked out this morning and one of my bird feeders was missing????

Went downstairs and...

Last post

I think it is amazing how a cat learns to adapt to wearing a bell around it's neck when stalking down prey. I had a Manx years and years ago in the day of the dinosaur. He could jump, I swear, higher...

17 Replies

3123 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:24 pm
What am I?

Last post by Horus « Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:04 am
Replies: 1
by LovelyLadyLux » Fri Aug 31, 2012 3:56 am

First post

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop, right on his twitchy little nose.

'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean...

Last post

That's about right :lol: :lol:

1 Replies

344 Views

Last post by Horus
Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:04 am
Anagrams

Last post by Winged Isis « Fri Aug 31, 2012 12:18 am
Replies: 8
by LovelyLadyLux » Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:09 pm

First post

This has got to be one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there
Must be deadly atScrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the...

Last post

Funnily enough myself and Hepzi were joking with each other about never knowing if it should be Bear or Bare in a certain context and it got me thinking as to just how many words we have that have...

8 Replies

1353 Views

Last post by Winged Isis
Fri Aug 31, 2012 12:18 am
Only In Egypt (Menus and food)

Last post by Winged Isis « Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:44 pm
Replies: 7
by DJKeefy » Fri Aug 10, 2012 3:27 pm

First post

Hmmm I wonder why the
virgin cock is so merry?

I think I will give the
coronary a miss.

Only the Egyptians can find a
way to make money from crap.

This has got to be the best menu...

Last post

It took me a while, but.... aubergine???

This sent me looking for a menu photo I took in Hurghada last January. It had a section called Oriental Appetisers (me, I was imagining handsome young arab...

7 Replies

1443 Views

Last post by Winged Isis
Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:44 pm
Modern Technology

Last post by Horus « Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:33 am
Replies: 1
by LovelyLadyLux » Thu Aug 02, 2012 5:22 am

First post

I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

This is the 21st century, old man, he said.
We don't waste money on newspapers.

Here, you can...

Last post

:lol: :lol: Nice one

1 Replies

458 Views

Last post by Horus
Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:33 am
Welcome to the 2012 Olympic Games

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Sun Jul 29, 2012 11:41 pm
Replies: 5
by Horus » Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:50 pm

First post

As the 2012 Olympics are about to start, I thought that I would share Boris Johnsons welcome with you all. :up

Last post

Yesssssss - Brylcreme - that is what it was. I remembered my dad used to call it Brill - but that was his short form version of Brylcreme.

Today in the hair aisles of any store there are TONS of...

5 Replies

861 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Sun Jul 29, 2012 11:41 pm
Today's Lesson

Last post by Horus « Sat Jul 28, 2012 5:16 pm
Replies: 1
by LovelyLadyLux » Sat Jul 28, 2012 5:41 am

First post

The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is actually proud of the fact it is distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever.

Meanwhile, the...

Last post

There is a lot of truth in that statement LLL.

1 Replies

649 Views

Last post by Horus
Sat Jul 28, 2012 5:16 pm
Only in Egypt (Signs)

Last post by Horus « Sat Jul 21, 2012 12:20 pm
Replies: 1
by DJKeefy » Sat Jul 21, 2012 11:08 am

First post

I bet they **** more than fresh fish.

Maybe it's ok in the toilet though.

BUSH to the left of the door???

Looks more like a dalek to me

Great sign, I need one, the dogs
never stop...

Last post

:lol: :lol: Some more good ones there Keefy :up

1 Replies

518 Views

Last post by Horus
Sat Jul 21, 2012 12:20 pm
Retired (from our own Jayway)

Last post by Horus « Tue Jul 17, 2012 11:59 pm
Replies: 1
by LovelyLadyLux » Tue Jul 17, 2012 11:28 pm

First post

Retired…

And They Ask:
Why Do I Like Retirement!

Question: How many days in a week ?
Answer: 6x Saturdays, 1x Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime ?
Answer: Three hours after he falls...

Last post

:lol: :lol: I resemble all of the above. :D

1 Replies

546 Views

Last post by Horus
Tue Jul 17, 2012 11:59 pm
Married men

Last post by Horus « Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:55 am
Replies: 1
by LovelyLadyLux » Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:40 am

First post

At the Irish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...

Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

Last post

:lol: :lol: so true, so true ;)

1 Replies

335 Views

Last post by Horus
Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:55 am
Grocery Stores and Seniors

Last post by Horus « Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:51 pm
Replies: 1
by LovelyLadyLux » Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:06 pm

First post

There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, Strip down, facing me.

Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about...

Last post

I got similarly confused the other day when asked to face the camera for a retinal scan! :oops:

1 Replies

432 Views

Last post by Horus
Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:51 pm
The Cow, The Ant and the Old Fart

Last post by Horus « Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:48 pm
Replies: 1
by LovelyLadyLux » Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:26 pm

First post

The Cow, the Ant and the Old Fart

A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.

•The cow said, I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the...

Last post

Mmmm ................ :tk

1 Replies

394 Views

Last post by Horus
Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:48 pm
No Pun Intended

Last post by Kiya « Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:26 pm
Replies: 2
by LovelyLadyLux » Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:11 am

First post

1.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

2.

I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an...

Last post

:D :D Some good ones there :D :D

2 Replies

379 Views

Last post by Kiya
Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:26 pm
0 and o

Last post by Kiya « Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:19 am
Replies: 3
by LovelyLadyLux » Thu Jun 14, 2012 6:59 pm

First post

O vs o

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

The judge says, You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you...

Last post

Oh dear :)

3 Replies

428 Views

Last post by Kiya
Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:19 am
Egyptian coast guard - Lost in translation

Last post by Kiya « Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:31 pm
Replies: 2
by DJKeefy » Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:44 am

2 Replies

557 Views

Last post by Kiya
Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:31 pm
My first day of employment

Last post by Kiya « Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:10 pm
Replies: 3
by LovelyLadyLux » Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:00 pm

First post

My 1st day of employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day....

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,...

Last post

:D :D good one.

3 Replies

577 Views

Last post by Kiya
Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:10 pm
Learning to Cuss

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:50 pm

by LovelyLadyLux » Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:50 pm

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.

The 6 year old asks, You know what? I think it's about time we started
learning to cuss. The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old...

0 Replies

347 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:50 pm
It's all Greek to me

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Sat Jun 02, 2012 7:57 pm
Replies: 2
by Horus » Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:20 pm

First post

Saying as how a certain Greek minister was getting a bit precious about a joke that Jeremy Paxman made on the Beeb the other night, I reckon a few more Greek jokes are in order, here's a couple to...

Last post

Yessss - great job if you can get it....

2 Replies

507 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Sat Jun 02, 2012 7:57 pm

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